Saturday, December 11, 2010
How Not To Design A Header
Another good way to ensure that your blog receives absolutely no traffic whatsoever: create a horrible header. First off, you will need to reuse a header from another blog. Nothing turns an audience off like a boring, re-used header that has absolutely nothing to do with the blog topic. Make sure that the header you re-use is cluttered and full of random words and images. To achieve this effect, simply open up all the applications in your computer and take a screenshot. Open documents with dark, odd or fictitious words to achieve that self-absorbed emo look. When implementing your new header into the page, try to make sure that the fonts in your title kind of match the background of the header, so that it's hard to read some of the words. This will ensure that your reader will develop glaucoma. (Somehow it works that way, I think.) Creating a header that goes just slightly beyond the margins allowed for the page also has the nice effect of bothering OCD people. Finally, write a blog post about your header, and include lots of long words ending with ious. This is so pretentious and ostentatious that you will surely never get a single hit.